I often work with clients who are in the second half of life, looking for ways to reinvent themselves while preserving who they are already. I call it re-launching life through leveraging past, present and future. It’s fun work, re-imagining possibilities and supporting what’s next.
For me, one of the most compelling aspects of scaffolding together a new chapter is what we have to give up to make room for anything new to take hold. In the insightful book Life Reimagined by Richard Leider and Alan Webber, this action is called repacking, which asks “What are the essentials for the next phase of the journey?” Defining what is essential is personal and not one size fits all, that’s what makes each journey unique and meaningful.
Deciding on these essentials involves reflection and discernment, followed by action. Deep within us we know what we need to let go of to move forward, so we can make the wisest choices about how we spend our limited time in the second half.
According to the authors, “To repack is to look carefully at what to lose and what to take. It is an expression of choice, curiosity, and courage. It is a practice that challenges you to lighten your load.” Repacking is done again and again as our needs change and we begin to acquire more than we need. It’s a cycle involving relationships, physical space, social commitments, volunteering—you name it. An important question I ask my clients is “Does this give you energy and fuel you, or does this drain you?”
So why is it so challenging to decide what to lose? For me, I can feel hooked by the presumption of disappointing others, imagining that they won’t understand why I have to bow out of a commitment that once fit and no longer does. Surprisingly, I have found that most of the time people are very gracious when I have had to bow out. If you are a people pleaser, you know what I mean. Yet once the work of letting go has been set in motion, there is a freedom, a space, which feels very good and right. That’s the goodness that comes from redesigning, or reimagining your life.
Think about what fuels you and what drains you? Follow your energy. Make a list as you go about your days or weeks. Look at it with a trusted friend. Ask what themes come up. Strategize to discern what you can lose to gain. It comes down to two words: “know thyself.” Sometimes it just takes reacquainting ourselves.
